A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
