And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All the doctor said was why
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
