im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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