I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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