if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
