paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
