so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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