You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
