It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
