Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
