Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
