didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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