your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do vagina's smell?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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