I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
