I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
