there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
