***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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