Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
this is an emotional support booty call
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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