people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
