It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize