They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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