Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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