I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You made out with two different species that night
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
