drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
