then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
