Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
