i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
