he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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