why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
