More tranny stories later!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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