im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
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why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
is it fun? or sober?
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