Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
