he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
