We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
