I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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