ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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