Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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