And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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