you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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