their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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