I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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