So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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