my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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