She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
