i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
