Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
