isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
