don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
