why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
