i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
