He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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