I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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