belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize