Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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