I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
