we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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