Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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