..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
