im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
