I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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