Sry I called you an 8
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
