Do you still have your period?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
