How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
