She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
