You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
